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Show #211: My guest on the show is Duana Welch, Author of “Love Factually”.
How Can I Find Out More About Him…Before I Commit?
On this week’s show, I welcome back Duana Welch, a developmental psychologist and the author of Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do. Inspired to write her book after she found the answers to her own dating struggles and mistakes, Duana offers relationship advice for women dealing with the same issues she had before bridging the gap between science and dating success.
Duana and I discuss an incredibly common question that many women find themselves asking when considering taking a relationship to the next level: How can I find out more about him before I commit? This week, Duana offers her very own relationship advice for women struggling to find out more about the man they’re dating.
Leverage Your Contact With His Friends and Family
Dauna’s first tip for finding out more about him before you commit is to leverage your contact with his friends and family. If a man is truly interested in you, he’ll want to introduce you to his friends at the very minimum—if he doesn’t, he’s sending you a message that he may just not be that into you. When you do get introduced to the members of his inner circle, be conscious of the way they talk about him to getter a better sense of the type of man he is, whether he’s lazy and unenthusiastic or a man that is truly crazy about you. Listen to what his friends and family are saying, because more often than not, they’re telling you the truth.
Ask Him Your Relationship Questions Directly
The second tip is to simply ask him directly about the difficulties of his past relationships and why those relationships ultimately came to an end. According to Dauna, men will tell you the answer to your question straight up, and it’s up to you to determine whether or not you’re able to live with the difficulties that he’s admitting to causing in his relationships. By asking him, “What would your ex-wife or ex-girlfriend say was the cause of your relationship ending?”, you’ll get a better understanding of his tendencies and habits as a partner. Is he a slob? Is he completely disorganized? Make it a point to ask him about these qualities and make a decision about your ability to tolerate them moving forward.
Research His Digital Footprint
Duana’s third bit of relationship advice for women on how to find out more about a man is to learn more about him through his digital footprint. Nowadays, virtually everyone is discoverable via a simple Google search, so use the web to your advantage! Studies have shown that the way people present themselves on their social media accounts is fairly accurate to the way they truly are in real life. According to Duana, several of her clients have even gone so far as to hire private detectives when they have had a bad or unusual feeling about someone they’re seeing – deciding on a partner is one of the biggest decisions you’ll make in your life, and you absolutely need to know if your partner is hiding a huge part of his life from you. Find out more about him from the very early days of a relationship through your research. Don’t waste your time and stay safe.
Listen to His Actions, Not His Words
Duana’s final tip is to put more weight into what a man says. If a man you’re dating never seems to hold up his promises or is constantly falling through, pay attention to those actions. Some men are incredibly skilled at telling a woman what she wants to hear – these men have the ability to be absolutely charming, and it’s easy to find yourself with more questions than answers as the relationship goes on. By paying attention to his actions, you gain a better understanding of who he truly is rather than who he says he is.
What do you think about Duana’s tips on finding out more about a man before you commit? In the comments below, let us know your thoughts and experiences!
About the Guest: Duana found that her interests had been shifting over the years to the psychology of relationships. With a PhD in developmental psychology, she was convinced that if she could use her background to help others, she could in turn help herself better understand how romantic relationships work. Duana soon began writing books with dating advice for women.
If you want to know the secrets on where to meet men, then check out my eBook, “The Secrets to Meeting Men!” – Find out how to meet men!
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