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Show #240: My guest on the show is Tanya Marie Dubé, a Personal Development Training Coach at TanyaDube.com.
Thriving After Divorce
Tanya Marie Dubé is no stranger to struggle. After surviving the foster care system and living on and off of the streets, Tanya knows the importance of thriving in your environment and knowing exactly how to get there from any point in your life. Whether you’ve just recently been going through or a hard time or are still feeling the effects months or even years later, it’s still possible to get back on your feet and manifest the life you truly want.
This week, Tanya and I discuss a difficult process for so many women, but it’s important to realize that it’s possible and that you’re not alone: how to thrive after divorce.
Go Through the Emotional Cycle
The first thing to realize after you go through a divorce, regardless of who left whom, there is an emotional cycle that you have to go through, and it’s important to go through this inevitable cycle in a healthy way. The five stages include denial, when you refuse to acknowledge reality; anger, when all of the pent up emotions you’ve been feeling about the situation suddenly erupt; bargaining, the unhealthy stage when you opt for a give and take rather than a teaching yourself the proper way to heal; depression, a chance to finally let your sadness out; and finally, acceptance, the stage in which you come to terms with your situation in order to move forward. At first, all of the emotions that you’re experiencing can feel too overwhelming to bear, but realize that it’s possible to get through anything that comes your way. Everything comes in waves. Feelings will come and go, and it’s best to just take them as they come.
Make a Positive Space
Before you start dating again, you have to fill the space in your life with the things that you love. Get to know yourself better—after all, you’re a whole new woman! Rediscover the new things about yourself and all of the changes that you’ve gone through since your divorce. It’s easy to fall into a pattern of dating after heartbreak, but when you have a low vibe, you risk attracting other low vibe people. Be wary of the friendships and relationships you make during this stage. Work on yourself and get your vibe high to meet the right people. When you’re having high quality experiences, you attract high quality people. Make this your “Me Time”!
The Triad of Emotion
When you’re feeling low, it’s important to practice optimism and mindfulness. Before you start seeking to attract someone, you need to know how to be optimistic about your life. Think about what the language is in your head and the language that’s coming out of your mouth. Look for the optimistic voice, and follow it to be a positive person. Also, look at what your body language is doing. If your shoulders going inwards and your head is low, you could be feeling bad. When you notice these postures, put on music and dance—do something that gets you out of that space or position. Finally, ask yourself: where if my focus? If it’s on how negative everything feels, put your focus instead on something healthy, on someone else who needs you… something bigger than your situation.
What do you think about Tanya’s tips for thriving after divorce? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!
If you want to know the secrets on where to meet men, then check out my eBook, “The Secrets to Meeting Men!” – Find out how to meet men!
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