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Show #244: My guest on the show is Duana Welch, Author of “Love Factually”.
Why Do I Attract Men I Don’t Want… and Repel Men I Desire?
Before she wrote her book, Duana Welch wasn’t very good at dating. In fact, she attracted the very men that she didn’t want or see herself in a lasting relationship, and she repelled the men that she desires, those that she wanted to make a commitment to.
As a result, she put her social science knowledge to the test and decided to find out if any of the sciences has addressed the problems that she was experiencing in dating. She found out that everyone can leverage what we know factually about dating and relationships to find the love of their lives.
This week, Duana and I discuss the very issue that she used to have: why people attract men they don’t want and repel the men they desire.
Dating is a Numbers Game
By definition, the vast majority of people we attract are not going to be the right ones for us. Part of being successful in dating is a numbers game… and just because it seems like your attracting the wrong type of men, it doesn’t mean you’re going about the dating game in all the wrong way. Just remember that if all works out, you’ll be marrying a singular person. It’s important to realize that you have a select type of man in mind, and not all men will fit the criteria you have in place for your perfect partner.
Attract the Men You Desire by Sending Out the Right Signals
Attracting the right partner requires sending the right signals, but we’re often taught to send signals that work actively against us. One of the worst things that we’re taught in regards to dating is to not wait to pursue men… to go after them as opposed to waiting for them to go after you. In a general way, people see women’s pursuit as an indicator of short term sexual availability, and the men that want that are players. Always remember that sending the rights signals will attract the right man for you, getting you on your way to finding that ideal relationship with the man of your dreams.
Wait for the Men You Desire to Pursue You First
When it comes to dating sites, it’s important to measure the playing field accurately. Be on the dating site, but don’t reach out first – contrary to what you’ve constantly been hearing from friends and family. Wait for the men to reach out to you! The key is not to approach them, but when they finally reach out to you, be super friendly. Thank them for everything you do that they like, answer the phone with a smile in your voice.
What do you think about Duana’s tips on figuring out exactly why you’re attracting the men you don’t want, and how to finally start attracting the men you desire? In the comments below, let us know your thoughts and experiences!
About the Guest: Duana found that her interests had been shifting over the years to the psychology of relationships. With a PhD in developmental psychology, she was convinced that if she could use her background to help others, she could in turn help herself better understand how romantic relationships work. Duana soon began writing books with dating advice for women.
If you want to know the secrets on where to meet men, then check out my eBook, “The Secrets to Meeting Men!” – Find out how to meet men!
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